Orca-nised Crime?

There is no denying the fact that with a Black man as president, crime was set to soar.
But earlier this week, a multicoloured murderer hit screens around the world, that caught many of us by surprise and some of us trying to work out if what happened, was actually even possible.

I may be scaring you. So to clear some things up. No Michael Jackson did not rise from the dead and kill off all remaining witnesses to his multiple molestation of sexy young boys, and no, the 101 Dalmatians did not gang up on or maim Cruella DeVil in slapstick fashion, oh wait...



If you have been living under a rock or in some kind of rock like cave for the past 25 - 30 years, what you won't know is that:

John Howard is no longer Prime Minister.

On September 11. People in The World Trade Center set a world record, getting from the top floor to the ground in under 6 seconds!

Letterman is still on the air...

And despite all efforts to prevent it, then subsequently wipe it from history and thought, we just didn't succeed in changing the fact that Kurt Russell was in every B-Grade cop film of the mid 80's & 90's...
I'm sorry!


Now that we've had our History lesson. I can finally tell you about our little black and white friend that has subsequently ruined the Christmas of thousands of snotty nosed kids and entertainers world-wide.
This friend being Tilikum: The Serial-Killer Whale.

This bad boy has slayed 3 souls in the past 20 years, and gotten away with it each time! What a TANK! And by tank i mean domesticated whale, mainly because he's been in one for majority of the past 3 decades. Lets be honest. They should have known this guy was no Free Willy from stage one. I mean there he was, swimming around with shrinkage to the max in subzero Atlantic waters off the coast of Iceland, trying to impress the ladies, with no luck, ready to get it on, when what happens, BAM, off to SeaWorld.
You can just imagine what he was thinking...


This death has shocked us all... But wait a minute! He's a whale!
How is it even possible for him to kill one person, let alone 3!
Did he use a gun? yes...? NO! He doesn't even have hands!

What is this world coming to i ask? How long until these 'animals' start realising that they can beat the hell out of humans and begin to do this kind of thing more often?

Answers to these. I have none. All i can say is that i'm sure the poor woman had a whale of a time in the dying moments of her life.

PS: Orca's are now known (thanks to Henn) as Sea Pandas for future reference...